Friendship

Friends are like fresh air which inhaled deeply makes your brain work better, your heart pump stronger and brings energy to your bones. I have a friend visiting this week and seriously we have not stopped talking.  That may be a girl thing but its also a chance for us both to recalibrate, check in and encourage.  There's nothing like a friend speaking into your life to make you pause and think about the honesty of their perspective of your situation.

When I develop a new friendship, I am entrusting that friend with the uniqueness of my life.  The more the relationship develops, the more permission I give to my friend to speak into my life.  That permission is implied rather than stated but there is a period of testing the waters; sharing deeper or more personal information, giving and receiving advice, honouring and respecting one another. Relationships are formed by trial and error and based on mutual trust.  We have to learn to be friends and friendships take effort.

I read a verse the other day that said " Love prospers when a fault is forgiven but dwelling on it separates close friends." We are never going to get it right all the time. We are going to hurt and misinterpret and find fault (if we want to go looking for it) but if we can learn to forgive those faults and hurts then we are going to build deeper relationships.

My relationship with Shaz has seen good times and bad.  We've lived life together (quite literally with our families in the same house for a few months - 4 adults, 7 kids - what were we thinking!!?), been involved in our kids lives, shared triumphs and disappointments, done church together, grown up together and we still like nothing better than a good talk to sort out our worlds. She accepts me, loves me and is not afraid to point out opportunities for me to view life differently and I love her for that.

We are called to love everyone but everyone will not be your friend.  We get to choose our friends. and your life is precious so choose wisely. Your life is a gift to be unwrapped with care and respect so if the friends you have chosen don't treat it that way then take responsibility for your life and share the gift with those who will enjoy the revelation of the you inside.

The Locale, New Lambton

While in Newcastle.... do as the locals do! I had some time to spare so soaked up some winter sun on a day forecast only for rain.  I found a fabulous big outdoor table at The Locale, in New Lambton, Newcastle and had a really good cup of coffee and a polenta orange cake to soak up the caffeine.

What a quirky place The Locale is. Rustic tables and interesting bits around the place but it had a nice bubble of mid morning conversation and some, like me had settled into their seats for a long time.  I was there for about 2 hours writing with the warm on my back. The staff were friendly, cheerful and helpful.  I was replenished with water and served with a smile.  I loved my time there and would go back.  One of the staff sat at the other end of my table and ate a late breakfast and it looked yum.  Definitely worth a try for food or just coffees.

Family

This week I have travelled to Newcastle for the wedding of one of my niece's.  I'm not sure why I always think it's such an effort to travel there because it really isn't!  The joy of going there is that I see all the stuff that I am missing but don't know I am missing.  I really miss my Dad.  He passed away the year I got married 34 years ago, so was never really part of my adult life but when I arrive at my brother's house it sometimes hits me how much he is like my dad.  He is the age I remember my Dad at most and he looks like him, talks like him (albeit with an aussie twang) and even sometimes calls me Toots which was the nick name only my Dad ever used for me. Sometimes I can feel quite undone by these moments.  The longing for my Dad in my life (& my Mum) has never gone away. I've got to say that I miss them and I am sad that my kids never knew my Dad because he was a great guy and he would have loved them to bits.

There's nothing quite the same as being around your siblings. I see it in my own kids when they get together. The good, bad and the ugly all makes up the sum total. It's the knowing what you know without the explanations. The ability to pick up a conversation without having to explain everything in between meetings. The looks and gestures that refresh memories. Add to this mix the aunties, uncles, cousins and inlaws and life gets interesting. Families are strange things but they sure do bring a richness to life.

Male Cleaning

I found this sign when I went to use the bathroom the other day when I was out. The bathroom door definitely had a female sign on it so this sign placed on the ground in front of the door intrigued me.  Is it so rare that a male is cleaning a toilet that it requires a sign?  Was there a male in the  female toilet cleaning himself therefore I should stay out?  Was the sign a declaration that demanded women should stand about and give a resounding clap when he exited the toilet? Perhaps this was just a good humored male cleaner whose wife had brought him a sign because she was proud of him?  Whatever the case, it made me chuckle but I didn't go in.

What is Your Default?

Last week my friend Hannah posted on her blog some great thoughts about the power of words.  She over heard someone else's negative words and was musing about the effect of our words when we speak to others. Yesterday I sat in church and heard a similar message. I was challenged about the whether or not I choose to listen to the negative default voices within me.  We all have "stuff" that happens to us in life, it is inevitable. The same thing might happen to a group of people and they can all react differently because they are all wired differently and therefore their reactions/responses will be different to circumstances and events. 

Our reactions to life events create pathways for us to follow in the future (if we choose), they become our default mindsets and sometimes it is difficult to see that those pathways may be created through negative circumstances, lack of understanding, or an inability to question the relevance or truth of the issue. The challenge is to search for the truth about your circumstances and your responses to those circumstances.  Is the default you choose actually the best response to your circumstance or is it what you have learned over time and have never questioned or held up for inspection in the light of truth?  The process might be easy or it might be hard.  It might not be pretty and possibly its messy but being able to make a true statement when in the past you have believed a lie is liberating. 

Here's a simple exercise; write down a few statements about yourself and check whether they are actually true of not. you might be surprised to see that even some of the fundamentals you believe are actually not true.  Start building some positive statements about your negative situations, write them down, say them out loud in the shower, believe them!

I was really sad this week to hear about the death of Robyn Williams.  The funny man and brilliant actor is no more.  We only saw the beautiful, wonderful bits of him and we loved them but in his private world he must having been facing some huge anguish. It has made me wonder what lies he believed about himself in order to choose the finality of death. I hope it makes me more careful about what I will believe in and the words I choose to speak into others' lives. 

Riverside Dining

I keep going back to The Jetty at Bulimba because it is such a great spot. My favourite seats are at the window bench. With the windows pushed back and the sun shades out it is the perfect spot for people watching; and plenty of people there are too. On the other side of the road is the ferry stop for the City Cat and for the cross river ferry to Teneriffe. Most of our friends who have visited will have come with us to this spot and possibly had a ferry ride too.

At the river end of the restaurant the doors open out onto a small outdoor area that has the feeling of sitting in your luxury cruiser. Looking over the water you can almost be forgiven for slipping into a beautiful cruising daydream.  There are also outdoor tables on the pavement at the front of the cafe.  From here you can witness the locals and their dogs (so many of them) as they are out on their daily constitutional.
You can buy a takeaway coffee or stop for  a full sit down meal. The barista is situated right by the front door so it is easy to grab and go, however I really like the food here so would normally chose to stay because there is always something tempting and just a little different.  This is a go to place for breakfast, lunch, dinner or like the last time we went, just to have a coffee mid afternoon on a Sunday as a final breather before the next week started. On that occasion, once we'd established ourselves in the sunshine at the window and we were sitting in the warm winter sun, we chose a cold drink instead. A nice Pino Gris for me and a Stella for Big Red (isn't that a girl's drink?).  And just as we'd been given our drinks the waiter, a lovely smiling Frenchman, walked in front of our window and served someone else a plate of hot olives. We caved in immediately and asked for a plate to share; they were just the little taste we needed to go with our drinks. Lovely conversation, nice drinks and nibbles, and warm sunshine were a perfect way to end our afternoon.
Today I was fortunate enough to get taken to The Jetty again!  This time for a late lunch. We decided to share some small plates but even now, 3 hours later, I realise they weren't so small......  A little more restraint is obviously required.  We shared the following; twice baked Pecorino souffle with mixed mushrooms and walnuts,  wagyu meatballs with olives, a tomato stew and Manchego cheese, scorched cauliflower with raisins, hommus and almonds, and some chips with aoli (I wonder who ordered those?). The flavours were not too strong but mixed well together making each mouthdul one to savour. Matched with a Pino Gris for me and a Peroni for Big Red we were satisfied, if very full,  diners. We will be back.  

Lucy Lacks Diamonds

I'm not into Sci Fi so I'm not sure why I went to see Lucy. Maybe it was Scarlett Johansson or maybe it was just that the shorts really did show the best bits..... Whatever it was I ended up disappointed.
Johansson was centre screen for most of the movie and I couldn't pull my eyes away from her amazing lips - maybe that's what distracted me from the excitement of the movie itself, perhaps I missed the exciting bits on the peripheral?

The story itself is thought provoking; the evil scientist devises a drug that stimulates Lucy to use more than the 10% of usual brain function.  However, as she uses more brain power the movie slips over the edge into the sci-fi realm.  Using more brain power shuts down her feelings and Johansson does a great job of being unable to access those. However, for me that's where the heart and soul flies out the window.

I walked away shaking my head asking why I ever thought it might be of interest but Big Red thought it sat in the OK category. There was plenty of unbelievable action and it all moved at a fast pace but the come away was pretty empty. So, if you are not into sci-fi then don't bother.

Whether or not you are into Sci-fi it is interesting to have a think about how much of your brain you are using. I have been reading on and off for over a year about detoxing you brain. This is fascinating stuff and a little deeper than Lucy.

A Weekend Getaway - Northern NSW

Sometimes you just need to get away. We had both had a busy couple of weeks, heads full of work and projects, and tempted to work around the house rather than unwinding. So, I checked out Wotif for special deals and found one in Kingscliff for 1 night. It's frustrating that so many motels/ hotels only allow bookings for 2 or more nights, it severely hampers my trip planning.  On the other hand I guess it gives me a chance to consider options I might not have come up with before......
However, this destination was not new to us, just a favourite. I'd found a well priced room at Mantra on Salt Beach so we piled into the car and away we went. We are both great packers having traveled lots with work so we don't have too much stuff to drag along with us.
While Kingscliff is in northern NSW, it is still only about 1.25 hours away from home. We arrived in the township just before lunch so took a wander through the Kingscliff Markets which are in the park right by the seaside. There was the usual mix of market stalls with fruit, veges and knick knacks but there were also a couple of great stalls there. The first one I loved had fabulous knitting, the best item being the Minion hat but seriously I am most probably too old to be wearing that! The converse knitted booties were also amazing and really sensible for little baby feet. The second stall I loved was filled with wonderful shells and driftwood and the owner had made some beautiful pieces with these. I was tempted to buy something there too but decided that the nautical theme would not fit anywhere in my house; spending crisis averted.

After the markets it was time to eat and we came across the Mockingbird Cafe just along the road from the markets.  The indoor and outdoor eating areas were split by the pathway.  I chose the long high table indoors so we could spread out the newspaper and have a good read. The menu was interesting but a little pricey and neither of us was particularly hungry so we chose a wonderful vegetable tart for $7 with a salad ($?). The salad was delicate and had a lovely tangy vinaigrette, a little bit of relish would have complemented the tart nicely.  The Pulled Pork burger was marched past us to another table and I have to say if I'd been hungry I could have been tempted, it looked wonderful and generous.
The service here was great with someone by our side as soon as we had sat down.  I ordered an Almond Milk Hot Chocolate and have to admit it was yummy.  It seems that NSW has not cottoned on to lactose free cows milk. I loved the atmosphere in here. The staff were happy, pleasant to each other and their clients, the kitchen was making happy noises in the background and the lighting was an amazing selection of old hanging lights.  This is somewhere I would go back to. 

There aren't many stores in Kingscliff (for which Big Red was truly thankful) but we both enjoyed going into  Boardwalk Books, a great store to while away time.  I always find something a little different when I go in there and this time was no exception.  I found a beautiful adult colouring in book with amazing illustrations.  Sounds a little different but a lovely gift for someone I know who is having a birthday this week..... 
After our stop off in the township it was only a couple of minutes drive to Mantra.  Our room was comfortable, clean, modern, peaceful and overlooked the lagoon pool and spa. I'm not sure why but every time I have stayed at Kingscliff I have relaxed within minutes of arriving, this time was no exception.  The beach is stunning, uncrowded, white sand for miles. It didn't take us long to get down to the sand for a good long walk. The swimming is good on a warm day with surf lifesavers on the beach near the hotel.  The water was about 20C degrees this time so a little cold for us to swim in but we did manage to take a plunge in the outdoor spa just as the day was coming to an end.

Meals can be eaten at the Mantra or in the little eatery precinct next door. We walked up and down and checked out all the menus and ended up eating Braised Lamb on roasted Kipfler potatoes for dinner at the Saltbar Beachbar and Bistro. Standard pub food was on offer including steaks, seafood and pasta.  The lamb was tasty but a little overcooked for our liking. However, the meal was pleasant enough and we had decided only to bring casual clothes so we comfortable eating at Saltbar.
On Sunday we got up early, had a lovely breakfast at Saltbean Espresso Bar. We had a seagull friend sitting expectantly on the fence which lead to a conversation about birds eyes and whether they blink or not - they do according to Google! And don't seagulls just have perfect red eyeliner around their eyes? Check it out next time you see one.  I just loved the coffee cups at Saltbean. They looked like cardboard cups but were porcelain and really nice to drink out of.  If you're interested I found some online.
After breakfast it was another beach walk, check out time and then on the road south to Cabarita for a little explore.  We needed another coffee by then so a stop at Kartel Espresso on the main road was essential. These guys are really into their coffee. Apart from the normal selection they also sell cold drip coffee and beans too.
Coffee in hand we then zipped down the road and stopped at the headland and took a walk up the stairs to the look out at Norris Point.  The view back towards Cabrita was stunning and showed the amazing sweep of sand the heads up towards Kingscliff.  There are a couple of nice chairs to sit and ponder on the way up but it is an easy walk there and back. I hadn't really thought about what we might see once we got to the top but there was a huge seating area filled with people on the lookout for whales.  Unfortunately they were too far out to see well but there was definitely movement in the water and the odd splash out in the distance. It was time for some R&R so we parked at the next lookout point and watched the sea, the back of our eyelids, and read for a while. Very pleasant.
Time to head home so we headed north again up to the Cabarita shops and stopped at the Stunned Mullet for a quick feed of fish and chips (hey, we were beside the seaside and my fish was grilled!) before heading back to the highway and home again.
We were both relaxed and had enjoyed fun, food and exercise. We must do this more often.....

As Aleksandr would say - SIMPLES!

Lemon Curd, Lemon Honey, Lemon Butter whatever you like to call it, it is divine.  I have lemon, lime and mandarin trees in my back yard and this year finally discovered the secret of growing nice citrus -  water the trees! Queensland is a harsh place to grow food.  We so often have drought conditions and I have lost so many plants within just a few hours - very frustrating! Anyhow this year we have watered our citrus regularly and hey presto we have fruit (and a big water bill).

It's years since I have made Lemon Curd but it is so easy to make. In fact this was one of the things that got the idea started for me to create this blog.  My friend Nat had been around and I gave her some Lemon Curd to take home.  She thought I was very clever to be able to make something like this but didn't think she could do it.  That prompted a dinner invite and a bit of cooking together in the kitchen and suddenly I didn't seem quite so clever anymore. This really is simple to make. The recipe works well with either lemons or limes, the lime just being a little more tart. It is an easy, cheap and pretty looking gift to give as well for those who might want to whip up homemade gifts or treats.
There are two recipes I have used recently. The first is from an old edition of the Edmonds Cookbook, which was a staple of every home when I was growing up. I couldn't find this recipe in the online edition of Edmonds recipes and I've had my cookbook for decades.  This recipe has more sugar than the other one and it uses the whole egg whereas the second recipe uses half the amount of sugar, a little more butter and only the egg yolks. The colour is a little deeper yellow than the Edmonds recipe.

Edmonds Lemon Honey
2 cups sugar
4 eggs, beaten
4 lemons - juice
125gms Butter

1. Grate the yellow part of the Lemon rind of 1 lemon
2. Squeeze the lemons and strain the juice
3. Melt the butter in a pot over a double  boiler
4. Stir in the sugar and lemon juice until sugar is dissolved
5. Add eggs and lemon rind
6. Stir everything until the mixture thickens
7. Pour into sterilised jars
8. Store in the fridge

The second recipe is from Gourmet Traveller Essentials cookbook and makes half the amount of the Edmonds recipe.

Lemon Curd
6 egg yolks
1/2 cup caster sugar
1/2 cup of lemon juice (about 2 lemons)
Finely grated rind of 1 lemon
150g cold butter, cubed


1. Whisk the egg yolks, sugar, and juice in a double boiler until well combined
2. Continuing to whisk, add cubes of butter, one at a time until melted and smooth
3. Stir until mixture is thick enough to cover the back of a wooden spoon.
4. Remove from heat, add rind and stir well
5. Pour into jars

The recipe says that this will keep for a week but I can guarantee that it will disappear before it goes off!. As Aleksandr would say - "Simples!"

At peace by the sea.

Have you ever read the book The Man whose Mother was a Pirate (...his mother was definitely not an ordinary woman)? Well, Big Red thinks that sums me up nicely.  I was brought up in the fishing village of Island Bay in Wellington, NZ.  True, there is always a breeze there (a gale by Brisbane standards) but there is such an amazing smell of sea.  The saltiness fills your lungs and the salt sticks to your skin and your hair - you really know you are by the sea.  Being by the water brings me to a state of equilibrium.  I love that moment when my senses recognise that the sea is not far away and I inhale deeply. But, I digress.

After a busy Sunday we headed out in the afternoon for a coffee by the sea at Manly.  I don't really want to tell you about this place because it is a bit of a special spot.  There are always people there but you can usually find a seat.  Cafe La Mer is situated at 570 Royal Esplanade, Manly. Drive through the gates and there is ample car parking.  The cafe itself holds no real appeal but the outside seating area is fabulous. There is a massive big tree shading the fenced deck area whose front sits high above the water with views over the marina.

If the tide is in and you have small children with you, or you feel inclined yourself, then ask for some bread from the kitchen and drop it into the water.  The water boils with fish (if it doesn't then don't throw in any more bread - litterbug!).  It is quite amazing how aggressive the little biters can be.  Last time we went  we took the grandies, got them all hyped about feeding the fish and then found it was low tide, most disappointing but not the cafe's fault.

The sweets didn't look so appetising on Sunday so Big Red resorted to a Muesli biscuit which was full of goodies including Cranberries and Goji berries (neither of which he likes but which seemed to disappear at a rapid rate).  The meal that we love to go here for is the Antioxidant Power Salad. It is so full of goodies. Usually we get it with the Chicken and then it is big enough to share. It is full of seeds, nuts, berries, beetroot and has a beautiful tangy dressing.

On Sunday our coffees were just fine. They now offer Lactose free milk as an option - thumbs up! Service is casual but efficient and staff were friendly. This is a great place to take visitors to Brisbane, the feel is relaxed, the marina beautiful and there is always something happening that you can watch. While Manly doesn't smell as briny as Island Bay, being near the water is enough.

What a Pickle!

We were running out of steam on Saturday morning and not near our normal coffee stop so we dropped into In A Pickle at 2 Martha Street in Camp Hill. Oh dear, what a pickle it was in. This is not a new cafe for me but seriously it was not up to standard last Saturday.  The girl on the counter was snappy, there were 3 tables available, one with an assortment of used dishes on it and all three were not wiped clean. Umm, not a great choice. The shop itself is overcrowded which would have been ok if it didn't look messy as well. Even the menus were looking tired and the coffee was bitter, thin and milkey. We got half way through and nearly left the coffees but we had stopped for caffeine and so we persevered.

There is a good range of food here and it is usually great if a little pricey. I can recommend the Arancini balls, they are massive so best to share with a friend. But that's not what I had on Saturday.  The food looked less than appetising so we had nothing.  We had arrived at the end of the morning so maybe they had been rushed off their feet but no excuses really for not showing casing your food well.

This cafe can be cold on a winter's morning so In a Pickle also provide red blankets for those who like to rug up.  The tables and chairs are set outside on the pavement and as it is on a corner there is plenty of room for them.

Maybe the In a Pickle team need to just stop, have a coffee and look at themselves from a customer's perspective? I'm reluctant to try again.

Aleksandr & Sergei Make Me Smile

A wise book that I read says that a cheerful heart is good medicine but a broken spirit saps a person's strength. In other words you need to be laughing a lot more.....

Sometimes life is just tough and you have to find a way through that. Usually other people can't do that for you so you have to find a way to put one foot in front of the other.  I think generally we are too hard on ourselves.  I don't see that in myself (of course) but when I look at friends going through tough times I often observe that they use words like should, must and have to. Actually sometimes you just need to let go of things and grab hold of a different perspective.  Not easy to do I admit but here's an idea.

Just like its good to eat fresh food to clean your palate, sometimes we need fresh thoughts to clear our mind.  Over the last few months I have fallen in love with Aleksandr & Sergei.  They are the hilarious Meerkats found on the insurance comparison website. Seriously, they make me giggle every time. Big Red does not share the joke, he's a pretty serious bloke, but now I can get him laughing ridiculously at me laughing at the Meerkats. I can't even drive by their road sign without chuckling.

So, when you are feeling a bit blue, when you feel like your sap isn't flowing anymore, check out the Meerkats or find an equivalent, stupidly funny something that makes you smile. It wont fix all your problems, it wont make them go away but.... I guarantee that after a good belly laugh you will feel a bit better.  And even if that is just a tiny bit, isn't it worth it?

My Foxy Breakfast Date

Once a week Big Red and I try to go out for breakfast before work.  Its nice to make a date for breakfast and the Foxy Bean Cafe is one of our favorite places to go,  because it opens early and is on the way to work. Situated on the corner  of Potts St. and Stanley St. East just up the road from the Gabba, Foxy Bean Cafe is open for breakfast from 6.00am to 11.30am Monday  - Friday and 6.00am to 2.00pm Saturday & Sunday. They also have other offerings past these times and well into the night from Thursday to Sunday but we haven't been along for the evening experience. 

There are plenty of seating options; high tables, low tables, lounge chairs, outdoor seating undercover and a few outside seats at the front of the cafe. The decor is eclectic with feature painted walls, partially stripped tongue & groove boards, pressed metal on the walls, old leather couches and a strange lopsided birdcage (I forgot to photograph that one).

This week I had the Haloumi Hello; so YUM! The saltiness of the Haloumi, silkiness of the avocado and sweetness of the tomatoes produced a fresh tasting breakfast for me leaving me with a lovely clean palate.  This week Big Red had scrambled eggs with a side of bacon accompanied by a lovely relish. but he often comes here just to have the Bushman's Benny - good old fashioned mince with eggs benny on top. It is a massive breakfast by anyone's standards and sure to leave a hungry bloke full until lunchtime. Service was efficient and our meals arrived quickly.

Coffees arrived first so that we could enjoy while we waited for breakfast. Foxy Bean now serves lactose free milk. Another cafe with the thumbs up from me! The coffee has been consistent here but the flavour is nothing special.

We keep returning to the Foxy Bean, not just because it is open early (though that is a good reason for people who like early starts), but because we always have a really good food experience here. Well done Foxy Bean.