The Shortness of Sheets

This week I had my annual Melanoma check. The Doctor was lovely but VERY quietly spoken (how do I emphasis something that is quiet? Bold capitals implies shouting or a louder statement of fact, so do I write in teeny tiny font?). I felt like I was leaning into him all the time to catch what he was saying (and yes, my hearing is fine, though selective).  I was so close that when he stopped I nearly ran into him.  He was very polite but for some reason I felt like giggling, maybe I was just nervous, but situations like this are always a bit odd. Next he asked me to take a seat and then he said hello formally, and then he asked me to stand up and go and take my clothes off behind the screen. I felt we could have done without the preliminaries.  It was at that point that he handed me the lovely clean blue sheet and said, "just cover yourself with this".

I did as requested but came to a stumbling block with the sheet.  Now, while I'm not the slimmest model in the stable, I consider myself to be at least an average build so what the heck was I going to with a long skinny piece of blue cloth. I lay on my back and tried to adjust it just so, however if I put it long ways it covered from my ankles to just over my best bits on the top of me but exposed my sides.  If I put it sideways, it covered my best top bits but only a bit of my best bottom bits! I chose the longways option but had to suppress the rising giggle.

Seriously, do Doctors not walk into the examination room and just want to hoot with laughter? (This is the main reason I didn't become a Doctor - I laugh at inappropriate moments in life). I bet they see some really creative positioning of the blue sheet.  Maybe they have a photo book in the lunchroom of the "best of" positions of the sheet. Whatever, the case, I am sure I am not the only person challenged by the shortness of sheets.

Oh yes, my check was all good. If you haven't had a check lately, perhaps you should take the time to have one too and just maybe you should take your own sheet...